The Quinnstitute Press announces a new title: Women are Flora, Men are Fauna!
Exploiting a well-known distinction and applying it – with no reservations – to the gender split, this new book provides guidance for men and women looking for an easy answer to a complex question. Uncluttered with boring research, this book offers simple slogans and fun ideas that will have you laughing while altering your relationships with men and women alike!
The premise is simplicity itself: women are plants, growing slowly but systematically, looking to be nurtured while sinking deep roots and taking control of their environment; men are animals, sustaining their needs in impulsive bursts. The evidence can be seen even in mankind’s earliest days of hunter/gatherer existence: men went out and hunted down prey, while women stayed close to home and harvested from the ground.
Today we see the same instincts play out in different ways, with different behavior even in the same context. Men jump between channels with the remote control, while women will settle down with a favorite show. Men will play with the kids then leave them alone, while women will provide a persistent presence and awareness, continually nurturing. Men will grab a bite while women will digest a meal. Men want to compete, while women cooperate.
This provides the keys to understanding behavior. To succeed with women, you need to nurture them, take your time and letting them slowly bask in your attention. What works with men is to tempt them with goals, and challenge them to get their best efforts in the chase. Women in the workplace need to be in positions where they can persist and slowly develop, men need to be given tasks that need quick responses and aggressive tendencies. This guide will provide a basis for real decisions!
This new work will help you better understand the other gender, and give you tools to apply to your own relationships. Further, this simple model will be extended to cover a broad variety of situations and topics. Written by an author who noticed the opportunity and realized that there was gain to be had from exploiting the idea as far as possible, this tome will serve as the basis for many new actions and create meaningful changes in your life. Order today! Movie rights are available, but that won’t last, so act now!
This is a parody, this is only a parody; if this were a real promotion there would be vibrant colored prose, appearances on Oprah, The View, Letterman, & Leno, and other signs of a real marketing budget.
Willis Whitlock says
Where can I buy this book? Will you sign my copy? Can you come and speak to my book group?
Willis, thanks, you made my day! :D